Sunday, December 31, 2006
1989-2002: Young, innocent, naive
2003: The Beginning
2004: The Fall
2005: Regrets
2006: A Changed Person
2007: Uncertainty?
aaron | 7:06 PM
Monday, December 25, 2006
放弃机会, 把希望寄托于 "还有明年" 那种不确定未来的人, 根本就是意志不坚定的废物!
而我曾经就是这样的废物...
aaron | 9:32 PM
Saturday, December 23, 2006
whoa that was good. i feel much better now xD
aaron | 7:22 PM
i feel like shit again... and it's like my brain is malfunctioning seriously. imformation has been flowing out like there's no tomorrow, i'm forgeting things that happen 10seconds ago. 'a' levels next year huh? how fun.
i've been trying so hard on so many things, and yet sometimes i feel so helpless, incapable of accomplishing anything, not able to understand anyone, just feeling like a complete loser... i need someone to guide me and tell what to do... i need to cry, but i know i must be strong.
am i that weak? no matter how strong i am, there's still a limit to how much i can hold on to...
anyway, message to thomas and to whom it may concern:
i'm sick and tired of reading your many posts complaining non-stop about issues or people, and using anonymous terms like 'he' and 'she'. i mean, if it's a few times i might still understand. but if you're telling me that you hate half the world around you, you jolly well walk up to whatever you're not happy with and scold the shit out of that person right in the face. you can't expect people or things to change like that get it? so bascially i don't see the point of you complaining over and over and over and over again. you'll only end up bearing the pain to yourself and making your life miserable.
am i right? if i'm wrong you can feel free scold me too. that's how it works, get it?
if my leg is broken, i'll hop to the finishing line
if the othe leg is broken, i'll crawl towards it
if my arms are broken, i'll roll towards it
if my head is chopped off, i'll stare at it
if my eyeballs are dug out, i'll curse the finishing line
no matter what, i'll do what i can, i promise.
aaron | 6:02 PM
Thursday, December 21, 2006
suddenly i dont regret spilling my money on comics at chuang yi bazaar a few weeks ago. or shall i say i never regretted it but now feel that my money was more well spent. i've just received notice that i've won a pair of death note 2 movie tickets! it was from some lucky draw thing i took part in when i pre-ordered death note book 13. now THAT was the movie i've been looking forward to and tada! look what we have here. x) furthermore it's on the 27th of december, meaning i'll be the first few to catch the movie (aside from cheapos who watch it from you tube) whoooo. now on to find a date for the movie xD
btw, death note book 13 is not part of the storyline. i think it's some insights to the story and just more info about death note.
but for now: homework
aaron | 7:43 PM
Monday, December 18, 2006
it's quite surprising to find out what trainings can do to you. for the entire morning today, i was feeling like s***. leaking nose, sneezing non-stop, and feeling weak like some... weakling. was on the verge of not going for training, but part of me felt that at least i could complete some light workout. then during training, i somehow went to do the normal training instead. and guess what, i actually felt better after that. no more sneezing, no more leaking nose and i felt that i could do a 2.4 run (not that i want to). i'm wierd.
i like the lyrics of this song. (for those who cant read it please set ur character encoding to unicode)
南拳妈妈 - 时间若倒退
有些话很可笑, 给承诺又办不到
有些梦很微妙, 醒来后却被洗掉
有些爱常迟到, 来不及给拥抱
总来不及让你知道
有些事很荒谬, 爱恨总在原地绕
有些人很无聊, 明明寂寞装骄傲
有些爱在寻找, 分不清谁重要
总分不清楚谁先为谁心跳
看那水平的线
绿色的边 平静的水面
有好多事浮现
吹皱我的从前
吹皱好多脸
记忆在播放留言
播放那年你说的再见
到底谁不听谁劝
到底那天你离开走多远
多久疲倦 多久不见
时间若倒退想看见谁
想找回什么感觉
你听的音乐泡的咖啡
我默背你的一切
你晒的棉被特别好睡
有阳光回忆淡淡香味
当初为了小事争执谁对
将感情拖累来不及给
时间若倒退想看见谁
想找回什么感觉
你买的宵夜送我的鞋
我重温你的那些
陪我逛的街搭的地铁
是最初俩人小小世界
事后根本不重要的误会
让爱情后悔来不及给
aaron | 8:00 PM
Friday, December 15, 2006
yesterday's training was good. i'm beginning to see improvements in my strength and running form. the weights i'm lifting now is far more than when i just started. and my running form was nice - bigger strides, better knee lift etc. but there's still more for me to work on, to get faster, and stronger.
and not just physically. as a person, i think i've somehow changed as well... many things have happen, and i've made many mistakes. and often, i would stop to recall what others have told me, what i've promised myself, and the things which i've forgotten when i try too hard to keep up with the pace of life. i've learnt a lot i must say, and that can only make me a stronger person. i can only keep getting stronger as i move forward on the road of life, that is what it means to live.
what awaits me at the end of this road is inevitably death, but before that comes, i just want to live my life with no regrets.
如果你是男人的话，就选择不会让自己后悔的生活方式...
aaron | 2:11 PM
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
once again i failed to read the signs...
...也不用太自责啦...but seriously this feeling sucks...
你还有得学呢...
aaron | 12:44 PM
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
had a terribly unlucky day today... nvm, shan't talk about it...
anw, saw this on you tube. the piano piece of disenchanted, a song by my chemical romance. go listen!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_yjlPwcdc
it's not exactly a professional playing it, just some guy next door showing off his piano capabilities, thus it's not exactly very good but i like it because i like the original song itself, it's the other song besides welcome to the black parade i like from the album. and the other thing is that i seem to enjoy listening to the piano version of many songs. it kind of gives me this nice feeling that calms me down and takes me away from a day of watever crap i went through. don't bother watching it, just listen...
and for those who haven't heard the song by my chemical romance, you should listen to it too.
aaron | 4:33 PM
Sunday, December 10, 2006
quoted from eng ping's blog:
"i can't go on. i go on."
it reminds me of "hold on" by good charlotte, the line which goes "hold on, if you feel like letting go".
forcing yourself to do more is never easy, especially when your body is tired. during trainings, the thoughts of "i can't go on" come very easily, and giving up has always been so tempting. it's always so easy to give up, yet so hard to carry on.
"it's all mental". it's not the battle on the track that matters. the bigger fight takes place inside of you. you against yourself.
"i can't go on. i go on."
i kind of like these simple quotes. they're easy to remember so i can put them somewhere in my mind and constantly remind myself.
aaron | 7:48 PM
Friday, December 08, 2006
有时候, 我很羡慕周围的朋友. 不对, 因该说是常常都是这样才对. 当我在那埋怨自己命苦时, 人家经常都会说: "接受它吧, 这就是现实. 这也就是命运的安排."
当然, 我也不怎么相信什么命运, 也更不相信一个人的命是一出世就决定了. 一个人要怎样活下去是由他自己决定的. 但是, 现实有时还可真残酷... 不是吗?
要过好一点的生活还是要靠自己的努力的. 这几天, 我终于真正领悟到了这一点. 只不过, 要我这个超级懒惰, 吊儿郎当, 只董得看漫画的人努力实在是有一点...
可能我的 "努力" 只能放在跑道上吧.
抱歉, 我自己大概也不知道自己在说什么... 算了...
反正, 我会一直都相信, "船到桥头自然直". 看了"通灵童子" 之后, 这句话已渐渐成了我的座右铭. (漫画狂就是这个样子, 有什么办法呢?)
还有很多功课在等这我去完成... 有没有谁能给我那股推动力让我开始动笔呢? 奇迹啊, 请发生吧...
人鱼的眼泪 - 南拳妈妈
透过窗舷你望着翦影一夜
爱上他在天与海的交界
你忍痛用声音交换了双腿
只为走近爱的人身边
你赌上毁灭相信真爱会永远
不懂专情不适合人类
而你连道别都没有人听见
黎明后随浪花凋谢
你的泪一抹无邪
不属於这个冷漠的世界
舍弃了一切只为一个能够
付出你真爱的机会
你的泪一抹无邪
原来感情那麽难以学会
他身边是谁消失前后不后悔
你的悲伤是否像海一样深邃
你赌上毁灭相信真爱会永远
不懂专情不适合人类
你最美的梦像泡沫般碎裂
剩童话里忧伤一页
你的泪
一抹无邪
原来感情那麽难以学会
他身边是谁消失前后不后悔
人鱼最后的泪像海一样深邃
最近开始喜欢上这首歌...
谢了...
aaron | 9:36 PM
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
headed over to chuang yi bazaar today. took bus 176 from bp, and passed by the old rv site at west coast. as the bus turned into pandan/teban from jurong, i saw that building standing there once again. the back looked similar to what it was before. the field is just that same field i played on from sec1-3. the building looked the same, apart from the new paint it had on. as the bus drove ahead, i saw a different sight. the canteen, auditorium and the hall were no longer there anymore, and in it's place, stood a new building so foreign to me. the entire building changed. the basketball court beside the canteen still remain, but the others were nowhere in sight. then as the bus turned to west coast road, i saw the front of the school. "commonwealth secondary school" were written clearly, like it was trying to tell pandan reservoir that it's its new neighbour. and then my heart ached a little.
just this monday me, zj and xy were still talking about it... oh man... i've got to snap out of it. accept the fact that the place no longer what it used to be anymore. no point feeling sad over something which can never return. old things will always have to make way for the new ones isn't it? i've got good memories of that place, memories that'll last for eternity. that's enough. haha, i can't believe that i'm actually such a sentimental person. i can't deny that fact that i'm one. sometimes i hate myself for that, but what can i do? haha... well... move on dude.
anw, let's talk about my adventure at chuang yi bazaar. it was quite hilarious following all the signs with arrows pointing around the ulu warehouse to finally find that place. and it bascially just consisted of 2 rooms with one thing in common - they were both filled with shelves and shelves and shelves and shelves and shelves and shelves of comics. i think i can finally understand how a girl (with the assumption that all girls enjoy shopping) feels when she walks into a shopping mall. spent about almost an hour just walking round and round and round the place, unable to decide on what to buy. one of the rooms were filled with ultra ancient comics selling at $1 each. the other had the newer titles going at 20% off (means $4/book). comic lovers should really go down a take a look. the warehouse is along pasir panjang road, near the psa building which is near where rv is currently at now. spent quite a bit on the comics today =)
training tmr. then going back to rv after that. whoo.
人生只有一次。你们不需勉强自己选择自己不喜欢的路，你们要按照自己的喜好活下去或死亡都没关系，不过... 无论你们选择走什么样的路，绝对不能忘记... 保护自己最珍惜的人这件事
什么是自己最珍惜的人啊?
就是指... 你们从心里认同, 相信, 并且深爱的人。
你有这样的人吗?
aaron | 10:36 PM
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
I'VE STARTED ON HOLIDAY HOMEWORK!!!!
although it's just 7 questions of hci's maths promos paper. reason being soccer and table tennis were too tempting so thomas and i just wandered off the the gym, leaving our miserable worksheets in the canteen.
i shall aim to finish all 4 (or at least 3) of the promos paper by this week.
but i dont feel like doing much tmr also. chuang yi (our friendly local chinese comic publisher) is having a sale at their warehouse until the 10th so i'm thinking of heading down tmr to look around.
yesterday, went back to rv along with xinying and zhenjie to give the junior carrots a talk. seems like some of them are having 'problems' with training. after that went to vivo for lunch with the 2 of them. and one scary thing about lunch at food republic (the food court at vivo) is that a lot of the stalls show pictures of their food without the price on them and that is super scary cos it never fails to make me wonder how high the price will be. and the food there is really costly. given our limited amount of money, it took us quite a while to decide on what to buy...
after lunch, had a really nice and long conversation with zj and xy IN CHINESE. lol, because the 2 of them were complaining that they didn't get to talk much in chinese at sajc and rjc. nj is full of rvians so still ok... anw, we had a good time reminiscing about the old times in rv, at the west coast site, the archive where the athletes used to gather, pandan reservoir, every scandal there was in rv (the name 'darius' popped up the most at this part) etc. and xy brought up one super funny incident which i had completely forgotten about. it was during the west something cluster run at commonwealth sec, some 600m baton relay. our last runner for the relay (cheryl phua) finished the run and the official walked towards her.
official: *stretches out her hand asking for the baton*
cheryl: *stretches out her hand and shakes his/her hand*
official: erm... the baton please.
zhenjie and i laughed like crap when we heard that.
aaron | 8:16 PM
Sunday, December 03, 2006
did 10km for standard chartered singapore marathon today. got a new pb although i had wanted to just slack and do a sunday jog. anw, it's not exactly a good timing since i'm not really into long distance running. the first 10km guy finished the run while i was still laxing at the 6km mark xD whatever it is, i'm still satisfied with my run. a pb is a pb.
and the run was quite a refreshing one despite me e-braking a few times when some runners cut in front of me suddenly. they wont pass their driving test if they drive like that. and there was one point where i almost sprain my ankle. lucky me. anyway, along the way, there were numerous supporters/cheerleaders just screaming their lungs out, trying to keep the runners going as some of them were about to succumb to fatigue. i too had the urge of shouting "c'mon keep it up" or just some words of encouragement when i see people stopping right in front of me, but i didn't. however i remember shouting thank you to a group of supporters screaming their heads off somewhere along the route.
was running with haikal for the first 7km. the first 4-5km was quite relaxed, around 50% effort. up till the 6km, steadily increased to 60% as i slowly pick up the momentum. broke away from haikal at the 7km mark and went on to increase my pace to abt 70-80% effort until between the 8km and 9km mark where my engine stalled and i had to slow down for a while before force myself to pick up again. saw the "500m left" sign and over-excitement almost made me went into a full spirnt, but thankfully i learnt how to control myself or i would have died before crossing the finishing line.
and once again, the finishing was superb. as i turned into the padang, i could hear the music from the speakers, it wasn't some crap song like my humps by the black eye peas (they played that some time after i finished), but it was some music they play when people makes a grand entrance(or semi-grand la). i heard the shouts from the supporters. people were cheering, some for their loved ones, some just cheering for total strangers. photographers were busy snapping pictures, marshals were busy directing people around. balloons were flying up in the sky, and right below it, the gantry with the finishing line. and a ticking timer to go along with it. the atmosphere was just... wow. with 200m left, i gave everything i had left and dipped across the finishing line.
i like that feeling =)
that's about it for my run today guess... it was quite worth the 25 bucks i paid. besides a refreshing morning run, there's free 100 plus (took 2 cans of it) and free bananas afer the race. the race pack is kinda good. the bag itself is not bad. aside from that over-sized shirt, there's rice/pasta, another bag, deep heat and there's 20% off adidas running products for all registered participants (sadly i didn't make use of it) and other stuff in it. not bad.
oh yar, anyone wants to watch flags of our fathers? ask me out for a movie or something... i haven't been watching a movie for some time...
shall end off here with a quote from darren twan's msn nick:
"the largest room in the world... is the room for improvement"
aaron | 7:26 PM
Saturday, December 02, 2006
tmr's standard chartered marathon. let's make it a good run.
on race pack collection day, i got this so called number tag without the number. it's actually that tag for you to write the reasons why you run (those you see on the adidas adizero ads if you're observant). it's for the runners to write their reasons for running and pin onto their back on race day so that it can serve as motivational/inspirational purposes for the other runners behind to keep them going.
so the thing is that it took me quite some time to think of what to write on that small space. initially, i had this idea of writing "catch me if you can" since it'll give the runners behind me all the motivation in the world to go faster and overtake me. but i decided that that would be too evil so... you know. so i had to think of something else. my reason to run? hmmm... to beat myself, to become stronger both as an athlete and as a person, to defy my limits, to enjoy the breeze as i run, to enjoy the scenery, to feel the adrenaline rush, and the sense of achievement after crossing that finishing line, doing the warcry i do before my race... i dunno...
whatever it is, i enjoy running =]
aaron | 8:11 PM
Friday, December 01, 2006
rv's grad night was on wednesday. missed my grad night last year because of athletic's training-cum-cip-cum-educational trip to perth. i rmb on that night, the 6 (or was it 7) sec4's carrots, including me, were busily hogging up the phone at commodore hotel calling the people attending grad night. the girls were like asking who were the handsome/pretty rvians there or smth along that line la. i rmbing calling my classmates and ended up getting suan-ed by them for not being able to attend. rah, i'm not gonna miss nj's grad night next year no matter what...
ok back to the present. i'm super sian!! (wat a present...) besides trainings+tennis i have nothing to do. got a lot of animes but realised i can't be watching them 24/7... same goes for trainings... intended to do smth light training today but discarded that idea when i realised i need to let my muscles recover from two entire days of workout over the last 2 days. but gym yesterday was good. can lift more weights now, especially for my hamstring and for bench press.
and sudoku is not my thing i suppose... i can finish a 2.4km much faster than i finish a medium level sudoku puzzle... -.-
a quote i got from chia hoe's nick (being the chia hoe he is) :
"friendship is like pissing in your pants - everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth"
EDIT: i realise my sudoku skills are on form today when i'm super sian. got 2 pb today. finished the medium level sudoku in 8min 40sec, and another in 5min 51sec! whoa... trash my 2.4km timing liao....
aaron | 11:26 AM
